'They have it better than me'

I really don't know what to write, because I literally have been in my pjs all day long and haven't been outside for almost 2 months now. I don't even know how is the outside world look right now. Lol, I may seems like I am exaggerating, but it's true though haha.

So, how is everyone doing? Good or no good? As for me, there are times I feel so anxious I might just throw up, but some days are good too. I usually feel anxious when I look at other people's life, how composed their life seems to be despite being in this difficult time. I guess, socmed is really a bad place for me right now because I just feel horrible about myself seeing other people's life. Well, I know we can't compare our life with others. We all living in our own pace, but who can stop me really? hiks. It is always so easy to drown into your own hole of self-pity where everyone else seems so much better than you - well, they are - but to bring yourselves back up, I always find that so hard to do. Maybe because I have been anxious all my life. I have been comparing my pathetic life to other people, maybe that's why it is hard for me.

Now that Ramadhan has indeed come again, I really wanted to be best version of myself. I tried to finish 1 juzuk a day, and I have been trying to learn more about the Quran itself. I have been pushing myself so that I have no time to disrespect myself and more time to actually be grateful with every single thing I have. I am grateful, don't get me wrong. I am able to be at home with my whole family. I am able to make my mom cooks for me and the whole fam instead of me, doing it all alone like before hehe. I have so much to be grateful on. But meh, I'm only human. There are times you just feel like everything you have is not enough. Ke I je rasa centu? Lol.

But above it all, I hope that everyone is doing fine and staying safe wherever you are. It is important for all of us to play our role during this pandemic and let's pray that all this will be over soon and we can all create a new normal with the better version of ourselves.

Ramadhan Kareem everyone! May all of you have a blessed Ramadhan and may all our deeds are accepted by the Mighty Allah. Amiin.

love,
Fyfaa